Thursday, February 02, 2006

Why are fortune cookie fortunes so bad?

"The job is well done."
"Confucius say: show-off always shown up in showdown."
"The best profit of future is the past."


placemat_zodiac
Originally uploaded by margejames.

Remember when the fortunes in fortune cookies use to be actual fortunes? I am thinking it's been about 4-5 years now since I have gotten an actual fortune (see above for examples of crappy fortunes). This always brings up the question as to what changed. Did they fun out of fortunes? Did a computer take over the writing task and someone programmed it wrong?? Well today at lunch with my co-workers we figured it out!

Chinese restaurants around the US for the past 40-50 odd years have all (or rather 99.99% of them) been using the same Chinese Zodiac place mat. You know the one I'm talking about (just in case I've included a picture for you). Well if you look closely you'll notice that this placemat, the one we all have come to love and adore, is about to expire!! Yes next year (2007) will be the year of the Boar and after that who knows since 2008 and beyond is nowhere to be found! Think of it as the Chinese Restaurant version of Y2K.

Well my theory is that about 4-5 years ago the Chinese Restaurateurs realized this moment (or perhaps one of the Fortune Writers saw it coming) and started planning. Due to a limited staffing issues they were forced to take their best Fortune Writers off the Fortune Cookie Task and put them on the Placemat Task. Ever since they have been toiling with the issue of the new placemat design; which is a hard one! Do you take off the older birthdays (starting with 1936) and risk upsetting grandma, do you just add some new years on and make the pictures of the animals smaller? Will the new placemat still inspire impromptu orders of sweet and sour chicken and egg drop soup?? Who knows!!??!!

Thus, I predict that soon after the release of the new placemats in 2008 we should start seeing some actual fortunes in our cookies again. Thank goodness!! Until then I'll just have to amuse myself with the tried and tested "in bed" trick*.


*Someone the other day told me they had never heard of the game where you add "in bed" to the end of your fortune cookie. I immediately put this person into the category I have created for people that think Oregon is one of those “middle states” and trust me it’s not a good category to be in.

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